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Piticii / Divertisment cu şi fără perdea / Comicul George Carlin Moderat de dana210773
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frunzadk
Moderator

Din: Arhus, DK
Inregistrat: acum 19 ani
Postari: 120
Cineva a auzit de Carlin?

Este un comic declarat ateist cu un umor super-negru, dar niciodata nu am auzit atitea lucruri filozofice si nostime in acelasi timp. Un prieten mi-a dat niste mp3'uri cu monologurile lui si a trebuit sa ma stapinesc in autobuz cind le ascultam.



"You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is."

"You live 80 years, and at best you get about 6 minutes of pure magic."

"Here's all you need to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. By the way, if you don't think men are stupid, check the newspaper. 99 percent of the true horrifying shit going on in this world is initiated, established, perpetrated or continued by men."

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Dan
pus acum 19 ani
   
dana210773
Moderator

Din: Bramming, DK
Inregistrat: acum 19 ani
Postari: 1105


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"Daca ai vointa, poti sa muti si muntii din loc. Daca ai
creier, ii lasi acolo, ca nu te deranjeaza!" FOTO
pus acum 19 ani
   
Beatrice
Administrator Piticii

Din: Copenhaga - DK
Inregistrat: acum 19 ani
Postari: 2769
ce tare mai! eu una n-am auzit de el!

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- hobby bijuterii - forum bijuterii - forum sanatate - forum pentru mamici
pus acum 19 ani
   
frunzadk
Moderator

Din: Arhus, DK
Inregistrat: acum 19 ani
Postari: 120
Nici eu, pina nu mi l-a dat prietenul, Se pare ca Carlin este aproape un veteran pe scena stand-up din America si are o cariera inca din anii 70 dar nu e prea cunoscut in afara Americii. Face showuri, scrie carti si mai citeste textele ca audiobooks care sint mult mai nostime decit sa stai sa citesti cartea.

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Dan
pus acum 19 ani
   
dana210773
Moderator

Din: Bramming, DK
Inregistrat: acum 19 ani
Postari: 1105
Viziunea lui George Carlin despre BATRANETE

Constientizati ca singura data in viata cand ne place sa "imbatranim" este
in copilarie? La mai putin de 10 ani, suntem asa de incantati de asta,
incat gandim si in fractiuni de an.
"Cati ani ai?" "Am patru ani si jumatate!" Nu vei spune niciodata ca ai 36
ani ...si jumatate. Da, dar ai patru ani si jumatate... Asta e diferenta!
Ai ajuns adolescent, acum nu te mai pot opri. Sari de bunavoie la numarul
urmator sau chiar putin mai departe.
"Cati ani ai?" "O sa am 16!" Poate ca ai 13, dar vei avea 16! Si vine si
cea mai grozava zi din viata ta.... ai 18.Chiar si cuvintele suna ca o
ceremonie: ai devenit major, ai 18 ani! YESSSS!!!
Apoi, faci 30. Oooohh, ce se intampla aici? Parca ai fi lapte batut! Ala
"se face" si e numai bun de aruncat, nu mai e amuzant, te-ai acrit. Ce nu
e in regula? Ce s-a schimbat?
Ai DEVENIT major, FACI 30, MERGI PE 40. Whoa! Pune frana, o iei razna.
Pana sa bagi de seama, AJUNGI de 50 si toate visele s-au spulberat.
Dar, asteapta!!! IMPLINESTI 60. Nici tu nu credeai ca vei face si asta!
Deci: DEVII major, FACI 30, MERGI pe 40, AJUNGI de 50 si IMPLINESTI 60.
Asa viteza ai luat, incat ATINGI 70. Dupa asta este "de pe o zi pe alta":
astepti "SA O DUCI PANA MIERCURI".
In varsta de 80 ani, fiecare zi e un ciclu complet: O TII pana la pranz,
AI PRINS si 4:30; AI AJUNS si seara asta. Si nu se opreste aici !
In anii 90, o iei usurel inapoi: "Abia am avut 92"
Apoi se intampla cel mai straniu lucru: dupa 100, devii iar copil "Am 100
si ...jumatate!"

Va urez tuturor sa prindeti 100 si jumatate cu sanatate!

_______________________________________
"Daca ai vointa, poti sa muti si muntii din loc. Daca ai
creier, ii lasi acolo, ca nu te deranjeaza!" FOTO
pus acum 19 ani
   
dana210773
Moderator

Din: Bramming, DK
Inregistrat: acum 19 ani
Postari: 1105
CUM SA RAMAI TANAR ...tot in viziunea lui

1. Ignorati numerele ne-esentiale. Inclusiv varsta, greutatea si
inaltimea. Lasati doctorii sa-si faca griji in legatura cu astea. De asta
ii platim.
2. Inconjurati-va de prieteni veseli. Aia mohorati va deprima.
3. Invatati. Studiati computerul, mestesugurile, gradinaritul, orice. Nu
lasati creierul sa leneveasca. "O minte inceata este atelierul
diavolului." Si numele diavolului este Alzheimer.
4. Savurati lucrurile simple.
5. Radeti des, mult si din toata inima. Radeti pana nu mai puteti si va
trebuie aer.
6. Mai apar si lacrimi. Indurati, suferiti si treceti nai departe. Singura
persoana care va insoteste toata viata, suntem NOI INSINE. Fiti "VII", cat
sunteti in viata.
7. Inconjurati-va cu dragoste, indiferent ca asta inseamna familia,
animalutele dragi, muzica, plante, hobbi-uri, ce-o fi. Casa voastra este
refugiul vostru.
8. Pretuiti-va sanatatea. Daca este buna, pastrati-o. Daca mai are "hibe",
reparati-o. Daca nu tine de voi "reparatia", cautati sprijin.
9. Nu va cautati vina. Faceti vizita la mall, in alt judet, in alta tara,
dar NU unde este vina.
10. Spuneti-le oamenilor pe care ii iubiti, ca ii iubiti, cu orice ocazie.

SI NU UITATI NICIODATA:

Viata nu se masoara cu numarul de respiratii pe care le aveti, ci in
momente care iti taie rasuflarea.
Si daca nu trimiteti acest mesaj catre 8 persoane, cui o sa-i pese? Dar
impartasiti cu cineva ce va place.Cu totii avem nevoie sa ne traim viata
din plin!

Sa va fie ziua minunata!

_______________________________________
"Daca ai vointa, poti sa muti si muntii din loc. Daca ai
creier, ii lasi acolo, ca nu te deranjeaza!" FOTO
pus acum 19 ani
   
dana210773
Moderator

Din: Bramming, DK
Inregistrat: acum 19 ani
Postari: 1105


_______________________________________
"Daca ai vointa, poti sa muti si muntii din loc. Daca ai
creier, ii lasi acolo, ca nu te deranjeaza!" FOTO
pus acum 19 ani
   
dana210773
Moderator

Din: Bramming, DK
Inregistrat: acum 19 ani
Postari: 1105
D'ale lui......

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
George Carlin

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
George Carlin

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
George Carlin

Electricity is really just organized lightning.
George Carlin

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
George Carlin

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, andanyone going faster than you is a moron.
George Carlin

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
George Carlin

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
George Carlin

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.
George Carlin

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.
George Carlin

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
George Carlin

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.
George Carlin

In comic strips, the person on the right always speaks first.
George Carlin

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
George Carlin

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
George Carlin

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
George Carlin

The status quo sucks.
George Carlin

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
George Carlin

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
George Carlin

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
George Carlin

Think off-center.
George Carlin

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
George Carlin

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
George Carlin

When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
George Carlin

When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
George Carlin

Who decides when the applause should die down? It seems like it's a group decision; everyone begins to say to themselves at the same time, "Well, okay, that's enough of that."
George Carlin

_______________________________________
"Daca ai vointa, poti sa muti si muntii din loc. Daca ai
creier, ii lasi acolo, ca nu te deranjeaza!" FOTO
pus acum 19 ani
   
dana210773
Moderator

Din: Bramming, DK
Inregistrat: acum 19 ani
Postari: 1105
George Carlin's Seven Dirty Words

"I love words. I thank you for hearing my words. I want to tell you something about words that I uh, I think is important. I love..as I say, they're my work, they're my play, they're my passion. Words are all we have really."

"And words, you know the seven don't you? Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits, huh? Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that will infect your soul, curve your spine and keep the country from winning the war. "

"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits, wow. Tits doesn't even belong on the list, you know. It's such a friendly sounding word. It sounds like a nickname. 'Hey, Tits, come here. Tits, meet Toots, Toots, Tits, Tits, Toots.' It sounds like a snack doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is, right. But I don't mean the sexist snack, I mean, New Nabisco Tits. The new Cheese Tits, and Corn Tits and Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits Onion Tits, Tater Tits, Yeah. Betcha can't eat just one. That's true I usually switch off . But I mean that word does not belong on the list."




_______________________________________
"Daca ai vointa, poti sa muti si muntii din loc. Daca ai
creier, ii lasi acolo, ca nu te deranjeaza!" FOTO
pus acum 19 ani
   
dana210773
Moderator

Din: Bramming, DK
Inregistrat: acum 19 ani
Postari: 1105
Si o poza, in caz ca nu stiti cine debiteaza cu atit umor si cinism, cele scrise mai sus......

comicul george carlin poza, caz stiti cine debiteaza atit umor cinism, cele scrise mai sus......

3KB

_______________________________________
"Daca ai vointa, poti sa muti si muntii din loc. Daca ai
creier, ii lasi acolo, ca nu te deranjeaza!" FOTO
pus acum 19 ani
   
frunzadk
Moderator

Din: Arhus, DK
Inregistrat: acum 19 ani
Postari: 120
De fapt nu sint sigur ca el a scris alea despre tinerete si batrinete...nu este tonul lui si cica multe zicale si articole sint falsificari in numele lui...tonul lui e de fapt mult mai negru.

De pilda (si eu inca sint religios):

Religion has actually convinced people that there is an invisible man living in the sky, and he has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these things he will send you to a place full of fire, and smoke, and burn and torture forever and ever 'till the end of time.... but he loves you. And he needs money."

Sau "viziunea" lui despre cele 10 Porunci:


Modificat de frunzadk (acum 19 ani)

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Dan
pus acum 19 ani
   
Beatrice
Administrator Piticii

Din: Copenhaga - DK
Inregistrat: acum 19 ani
Postari: 2769
Mai Dane, dar ce urechi ti-ai tras...

_______________________________________
- hobby bijuterii - forum bijuterii - forum sanatate - forum pentru mamici
pus acum 19 ani
   
frunzadk
Moderator

Din: Arhus, DK
Inregistrat: acum 19 ani
Postari: 120
Da, ca sa aud mai bine!

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Dan
pus acum 19 ani
   
carmen spania
Moderator

Din: CASTELLON - SPANIA
Inregistrat: acum 19 ani
Postari: 515


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"Scopul educatiei este acela de a inlocui o minte goala cu una deschisa." - Malcom S. Forbes
pus acum 19 ani
   
dana210773
Moderator

Din: Bramming, DK
Inregistrat: acum 19 ani
Postari: 1105
In mod special pt Dan....In dreapta gasesti mai multe clipuri cu el...




_______________________________________
"Daca ai vointa, poti sa muti si muntii din loc. Daca ai
creier, ii lasi acolo, ca nu te deranjeaza!" FOTO
pus acum 18 ani
   
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